Thursday, October 09, 2008

Where Am I Now?

Where Am I Now?

Before I start to answer this very hard-to-answer question let me sing a song first. This song was entitled Do You Know Where You’re Going To? The Theme from Mahogany which was sang by Diana Ross. It goes a little something like this!

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know...?

Do you get
What you're hoping for
When you look behind you
There's no open door
What are you hoping for?
Do you know...?

Once we were standing still in time
Chasing the fantasies
That filled our minds
You knew how I loved you
But my spirit was free
Laughin' at the questions
That you once asked of me

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know...?

Now looking back at all we've planned
We let so many dreams
Just slip through our hands
Why must we wait so long
Before we'll see
How sad the answers
To those questions can be

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know...?

Do you get
What you're hoping for
When you look behind you
There's no open door
What are you hoping for?
Do you know...?

In my 20 years of existence, I can say that I really don’t know where I am. Maybe, I’m in the stage where I want to explore new places, meet new people, dream big dreams, see the real world apart from the world I’m leaving as a student, experience what I didn’t experience before, do what I wanted to do a long time ago, and know what I can and I cannot do. I’m not sure!

As of now, all I know is I’m in the verge of knowing my true identity as a person. I’m in a search of a path that will lead me to a good future. I’m on a journey towards my ultimate goal. I’m in my preparatory stage to being a full adult.

The question here doesn’t merely lye on where am I now? But, also to the question, do I know where I’m going to? (As what I’ve sang a while ago) At this point of my life I can say that I have gone too far but I still don’t know where to go. I’m so pathetic! Imagine! I’m 20 years old but still don’t know where I should go.

Actually, I have a lot of big dreams. I wanted these big dreams to come true. So now, I study (but not that hard) because I believed that an educated man has the power to excel in everything he wants to achieve. At this point in time I don’t have big dreams only. I also have plans. Dreams won’t be achieved without a plan.

First, if I graduate I want to go abroad. I will use my talent in singing to go anywhere I want. If I’m already there, I’ll find a job that will really suit me as a degree holder. I will help my family and relatives who are in need and I will also save up for myself. When my savings is enough, I will put up my own business, build a house for my father, buy a truck for my aunt and uncle for them to deliver their product, buy a taxi for my other uncle so he could raise his children decently, rent a space in a public market for my other aunt and buy a farm so that my father will have something to get busy when he gets older.

When I’m already stable with my life I want to travel the whole world. I want to go to Acapulco and enjoy the beautiful beach there. If possible, I want to climb Mount Everest! Hehehe! I also want to visit Japan and buy different flavors of noodles and chocolates. There are many places that I really want to go, someday.

In terms of building a family, I’m not so sure with that. Maybe I’ll marry but I don’t want to have children or I’ll have at least 1 or 2. I’m planning to marry when I’m already 28 or 29. Time will tell.

If all those things come true the next thing that I’m planning to do is build a foundation. This foundation is intended for all Lumads specially those in Marilog District. I will give them free education. Awesome! Actually I have been to many mountains and I saw a lot of Lumads there who are uneducated. Although they have schools there, the teachings were very limited according to the Lumad that I happened to ask. They only come to school on Sunday and the only thing they learn was all about handicrafts. So what about other stuff? People just cheat them because they were uneducated and I don’t want that that’s why I have to make this dream come true. Yehey!

If I’m done with all those things, I want to focus myself on my personal relationship with God so that I’ll reach my ultimate goal. To be with Him forever!

For now, those are only dreams that I have to fulfill. The answer to the question is now clear to me. Now, I am in the beginning of my journey and I know where I’m going to and that is to heaven?

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